Awards for movies I haven't seen

The best thing about the Oscars, far and away, is that they began at 5:30 p.m. God bless the left coast.

Other than that, I thought Ellen Degeneres was funny. I've always liked her stand-up. Good for Al Gore, too, showing his sense of humor.

I felt like I'd seen the Will Ferrell/Jack Black/John Reilly skit before. I mean, it was amusing, but, eh.

I think 2006 may have been the first year since 1982 that I didn't see a movie in the theaters. Is that possible? Maybe. In '83 I saw Return of the Jedi. M-N managed to see Little Miss Sunshine, The Queen, Notes on a Scandal, all with her mom's group. I saw several episodes of NCIS, which is like CSI but spelled incorrectly.

I was happy to see Alan Arkin win. He's been great in movies I've seen (like Glengarry Glenross and So I Married an Axe Murderer). He's also a Bennington alum, like me.

I was happy for Forest Whitaker, too. He seems like such a nice guy. I've liked him in a bunch of movies, too. Except he continued to prove the point about black actors only winning for playing bad guys. M-N pointed this out.

Denzel Washington, for example, almost always plays the moral center of every movie he's in. But he got an Oscar for Training Day and Glory. He was, eventually, the hero of Glory, but for a long time he was the renegade.

I said, what about Jamie Foxx? She pointed out that Ray Charles was an addict/adulterer/womanizer.

Halle Berry? M-N (who apparently sees a lot of movies w/o me) said Monster's Ball wasn't exactly Catwoman.

The American Idol girl won, though, so that's good. I bet that pissed off Peter O'Toole.

Book Report: 1491

1491 by Charles C. Mann: Torgo approves

Yeah, I approve. I've written about this book before. I actually finished it a week or so ago, but haven't gotten the energy to write about it. That's because it's a 300+ page research paper. It's a fascinating topic: the Americas before Columbus. But Mann is a science and history writer, straining to be compelling with subject matter that's distant and vague.

It's still an engaging book, particularly the first third. The middle third drags, then the final third varies between interesting and overkill.

Mann does great work in highlighting the latest theories of pre-Columbian civilizations, dispelling myths while still presenting the basis for those myths. He's well-rounded in his presentation. He overtly sides with the theorists who believe:
*the Americas were vastly more populated than previously believed
*these civilizations pre-date the possibility of the 'ice age land bridge' theory
*large-scale agriculture was done throughout the continents
*the Amazon and U.S. interior were not 'virgin forest' but highly cultivated regions
*European explorers got very, very, very, very lucky, destroying immense populations thanks in no part to their own skill or culturally supremacy, but rather due to incredible timing and disease.

I came away agreeing with the author wholeheartedly. My problems with the book are simple but persistent.

First, he falls into the 'comparing genocides' trap. He's constantly describing the beauty, splendor, and enormity of various civilizations as they compare to European or other civilizations. In order to be impressive, it must have been the biggest. That's not true. Can't we just appreciate it for what it was? I think he does, but he feels compelled to argue how spectacular everything was.

Second, he too heavily relies upon the latest research (often from the last 5 years), arguing that it contradicts notions of the last 10, 50, or 100 years. But how quickly will his own book become dated? It's a couple of years old now. Is there research now to negate his theories?

Archaeology is an ever-changing field. What's the oldest civilization ever discovered in 2002 isn't likely to still hold that title in 2010. He doesn't acknowledge that well.

If you can get past those points, it's worthy reading. I learned more about how civilizations survive and adapt, what type of people lived in the Americas, and why the whole European devastation blows than I ever knew before. Ok, I was pretty sure of the last point, but tells some good stories about it.

This is awesome

Little Dude Loves Disco

What do you do with a boy who loves to dance? Take him to a nightclub. What if he's still about 19.5 years shy of being legal? Take him to Baby Loves Disco, an inventive way to create mass hysteria among parents trying fervently to provide the best for their kids.

We bought tickets for this thing in November. November. We went on Saturday. It sells out in minutes. What is it? All around the country, they take an ordinary club and open it up on a Saturday afternoon for small kids. There's a dance floor, snacks and drinks, a hula hoop area, two fully stocked bars, all you'd expect.

As hard as it is to get tickets, it's not really that big of a deal. It's not like they got the alcohol smell out of the upholstery. The tables were sticky, but that could've been from the kids. Sticky tables are common amongst liquored-up adults and toddlers.
Much like his dad, the boy wonder didn't spend much time on the dance floor. He liked the hula hoops, but was most interested in the ATM and payphones off in a corner.

That's my kid.

Movie Review: Syriana

Syriana: Torgo disapproves

What a disappointment. In hindsight, this movie was doomed to be lousy. The writer/director also did Traffic, which should've been much better than it was. Syriana is worse, by far. They're trying to make a convoluted, 70's-style ensemble piece about the oil industry. It's in the style of The French Connection, or any of those Robert Redford/Gene Hackman/Dustin Hoffman/Roy Scheider 70's thrillers.

But this movie isn't good. The biggest problem is that none of the individual stories is particularly compelling. George Clooney's is closest. He's a rogue CIA agent involved in murky arms dealing and assassinations.

Matt Damon's story is the tear-jerker. In an idiotic move, he takes his family to a business meeting. His 6-year-old son gets killed, which prompts the Arab prince to take pity on him, offer him loads of money, ruin his family, blah blah blah. We lost interest when the killing of his son was so inanely contrived and badly written that we were actively rooting against the mother.

Speaking of badly written, that goes for the Jeffrey Wright plot as well. There's nothing good to say about his story. Chris Cooper is fun to watch, that's about it.

Then there's the Islamic terrorist plot. Some brothers spend the whole movie being convinced that blowing up an oil plant is Allah's will. Then they do it. Great.

I like the idea of a movie about the oil industry. It's a topic that seems, at least superficially, to warrant further study. But Syriana entirely fails to make good viewing. It's dull. It's predictable. It's sloppy. George Clooney got an Oscar for putting on weight, growing a beard, and getting his fingernails ripped out on film. Good for him. He seems like a decent guy. Just don't watch this movie.

Clearly not a wino

Some landlords are never around. Some try to pawn off kittens on their tenants. Some mysteriously disappear in a cloud of uncertainty, only to be replaced by the mega-corp that owns the building.

I've had all of these landlords.

Our current landlord gave us a Christmas gift: a bottle of wine. I would've liked $500 or $1000 or $1500 off our rent for a month, but we'll take what we can get.

However, because a certain someone is with child and a certain other someone is a child, the bottle has sat unopened in our barren wine rack for 2 months. I won't open a bottle to drink on my own. Well, no, no, I won't.

We had company yesterday, so we opened it up. Turns out, it's a port wine, aka a dessert wine. I've had a lot of wine, most of it under $10/bottle, but somehow I've never had a bottle of dessert wine.

Dessert wine is very sweet. It's not really something I found I could drink more than one glass of. But it's good. And it's the first time I've ever had a landlord give a gift. So that's nice.

Satellite Radio: Good when free

As Zipcar users, we get to listen to XM satellite radio when we drive.

At first, this seemed great. There are over 150 channels, lots of variety, some great stations. But over time, I've noticed that the commercial-free radio is full of commercials. I don't know if this is just because it's some special 'Zipcar' version -- I don't think so, I think they've just falsely advertised.

I haven't done a scientific study. We only listen to 3 different stations. But what I first noticed as just commercials for other XM stations and shows has now evolved into extended commercial breaks for random, non-XM products.

So if we had to pay for it, we'd be paying to listen to commercials, which you can do for free with regular radio.

I am Lex Luthor

Your results:
You are Lex Luthor

Lex Luthor 66% Apocalypse 63% Dr. Doom 60% Magneto 52% Juggernaut 52% Riddler 51% The Joker 50% Kingpin 48% Mr. Freeze 47% Poison Ivy 44% Green Goblin 40% Dark Phoenix 39% Venom 36% Catwoman 36% Mystique 32% Two-Face 20%

A brilliant businessman on a quest for world domination and the self-proclaimed greatest criminal mind of our time!

Click here to take the Super Villain Personality Test


Thanks, Rainster.

I watched the Grammys

And it was ok.

I used to get emotionally involved in the Grammys, back when artists I loved were up for awards. But now, the albums I love don't get nominated (like Pearl Jam and Beck's new albums), so I can just watch the show.

I'm glad Mary J Blige won. She's easy to root for. She's also amazing. I'm also glad the Dixie Chicks won. I don't like their music, but I like their message, and it's nice to see them get acknowledged after country radio turned on them.

I actually really enjoyed the show. I thought the Police were decent, especially considering they were at their peak 25 years ago. It was fun to see Lionel Richie and Smokey Robinson sing their old hits.

Gnarls Barkley's slowed-down "Crazy" was ok, not great, but ok. The Eagles tribute got old quickly. I mean, they're not dead! If you want to showcase them, bring them on the show. Don Henley was there! And Ludacris, who I'm growing to like as an actor and respect more as a musician, did his little 'message' song that was earnest and well-intentioned, but had the rhymes of a 7th grade poetry class. It's a good thing Mary J helped him.

Speaking of people with multiple performances, what's the deal with Justin Timberlake? He gets to do a mock American Idol? And perform twice? The Idol rip-off was a bad idea. It also highlighted a drawback of being on the left coast. We couldn't vote. I wouldn't have, but still, it's the principle.

I waited up for the Chili Peppers, the only rock act, only to be disappointed. They always sound off live.

But it was nice to see a thin Al Gore. Apparently, a thin Al Gore means he may run for president. Good for Al. I'd vote for him again.

The Boy Spins

Ok, so we were cleaning our bedroom/office/not-very-babyproofed room last weekend. To keep the boy entertained, I was spinning him in the desk chair. He loved it. He kept saying, "More! More!" After a while, I decided to try filming this moment for the sake of history.

Of course, with the camera on, he falls out on the second turn. See for yourself:

Movie Review: Something the Lord Made

Something the Lord Made: Torgo approves

I liked this movie before I saw it. The title is terrific. I used to notice the dvd in BN, but since it's an HBO movie, I'd never heard of it. I intentionally didn't read the back of the box, but the title stuck with me.

I also liked it on account of Mos Def and Alan Rickman. I liked Mos Def for his music, but have also come to realize how strong of an actor he is. Alan Rickman has been a favorite of mine since Die Hard. I saw him in a Noel Coward play called "Private Lives" a few years ago. He's great onstage as well.

I won't talk much about the plot, only noting how authentic the portrayal of racism feels. It's presented completely but without being overbearing. Racism isn't the primary story, but it's always there and quite effectively shown. For scenes set in the 40's, the white actors do something I've never seen in a movie, stare with both blankness and contempt at the black man invading their sacred world. But then, it's not portrayed as harshly judging them, instead it reflects the reality of the time. And it doesn't inhibit the story.

See this movie.

Movie Review: The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou

The Life Aquatic: Torgo disapproves

This is a shame. First of all, we watched this movie on Saturday. It took me almost a week to write the review. It's been crazy at work. Crazy good, making money, helping kids, saving the world, all that. Except the last thing.

This movie is a shame. It has so much going for it. The cast: Bill Murray! I love Bill Murray. But he's been stuck in this "Oscar funk" for a few years now. I don't get it. Bill Murray's only ever played one character. Some people just thought it deserved awards if it's in a drama, but not an Oscar. Oh well.

Then there's Owen Wilson, Cate Blanchett, Anjelica Huston, Michael Gambon, Jeff Goldblum (whom I like, sort of, but also think only plays one character -- he doesn't 'act,' he's just an odd guy), and Willem Dafoe. I think Willem Dafoe is very cool. He's Jesus! And a really awful Green Goblin. And the vampire movie with John Malkovich was a cool movie, but a bad date movie early in my relationship with M-N.

Then there's Wes Anderson. The first movie of his I saw was Rushmore. I loved it. I then saw Bottle Rocket. I liked it. I think people either overrate or underrate Bottle Rocket. I think it's just good. Then Royal Tennenbaums. I hated it. Too many characters, far too flat and bloated. That's right, flat and bloated.

The Life Aquatic makes many of the same mistakes. Too much going on with too little heart. There's no sensitivity despite the emotional content of the various stories.

When the movie came out, I remember people complaining about the animated fish. They're not really that big of a deal. The waste of talent and the frustration of the promise of the premise are much worse.

Movie Review: Wordplay

Wordplay: Torgo approves

The other day, the boy pulled my high school yearbook off the bookshelf. Since I fled the state a month after graduation, then the time zone, I haven't had many opportunities to reminisce about my high school years. My graduating class had over 700 people in it and so, despite the fact that I was the editor of the newspaper (with a staff of about 40), in a bunch of clubs, and physically at the school most days, I never knew most of the people there. 10 years later (holy crap, it's my 10 year reunion...), I'd forgotten most of the people I knew.

The fact is, I had classes with most of the same 20 or 30 people. The AP kids. The NHS kids. The nerds, geeks, etc. The socially awkward. I wondered what happened to them.

I think some of them might be in "Wordplay." This movie is about crossword puzzle geeks. Specifically, Will Shortz, the NY Times puzzle, and Shortz' annual tournament in Connecticut. To sell the movie, there are interviews with Jon Stewart, Bill Clinton, Mike Mussina, etc. But it's really all about the geeks.

Ok, so I was in those AP classes. I was(/am) socially awkward. But I never was obsessed with crossword puzzles. I liked logic puzzles. Those grids with 5 people wearing 5 hats with 5 jobs and 5 cars or whatever, and you had to figure out who did what with whom. I was a puzzle junkie, just never crosswords. It's ironic, in a way, b/c aside from liking puzzles, I like word games (like Scrabble) and I'm a pop-culture junkie (hence my dominance in Trivial Pursuit and Jeopardy).

The people in this movie are good. I used to listen to Will Shortz on Weekend Edition on NPR Sunday mornings. I never realized that he spends 10-12 hours of every day on puzzles. That's the best part of the movie. Here's a guy who loves puzzles and he's made a career out of it. He seems completely happy while sitting on the stage watching the top 3 contestants fight it out.

I also learned that my wife is more of a geek than she lets on. One of the many crossword clues in the movie that stumped me, she got immediately: the answer was Zolaesque, a hybrid word that's also a moderately obscure reference. Zolaesque? Really? I never would've gotten that.

Mayor Plays Around

Our greasy SF mayor, Gavin Newsom, is having himself a little scandal. This is bigger than his last scandal, when he was seen one day without all the grease in his hair.

No, seriously, it was a big news story the day he went out without the greased and slicked back hair. I know the mayor is only 22, but it seems to be about time that he's involved in a slightly bigger scandal.

As it turns out, his campaign manager, Alex Tourk, is quitting after discovering that Newsom, his buddy, had an affair with his wife.

Of course she did. Tourk is always wearing that name badge, standing in front of charts, and smoothing the creases in his jacket.

Is that true? I don't know. I'd never heard of him until yesterday.

My favorite part of the story is Tourk's wife, Ruby Rippey-Tourk. First of all, her name was Ruby Rippey. That's the kind of name you get when you marry someone because you love them very much and don't care that you'll have a silly name. But it was her maiden name. And she hyphenated. Which gives the name a weird, rapid-fire sound. It also isn't the name of someone who looks like she does.

That's another good part. She's not exactly Monica Lewinsky. Maybe there's something to Newsom's hair thing. The mayor was quick to admit that the affair happened. Of course he was.

Finally, there's how this came out. Ruby Rippey-Tourk is in some sort of rehab/12-step program and she told her husband about the affair as part of coming clean.

So was this some sort of coke-induced, city hall by night, torrid love affair? It's like a movie.