Torgo vs. AAA

This is Torgo, in case you haven't seen him before. Technically speaking, he's a satyr (half-man, half-goat). But the movie was so low-budget, he basically just had gigantic knees.

To read on about Torgo and his film career, turn to Page 74.
To help Torgo battle a flat tire, go on to the next paragraph.

So if Torgo had a flat tire on his wife's Hyundai, he'd have trouble changing it. It's hard to bend and unscrew bolts with such big knees. You never see goats changing tires, do you? They always get low-to-the-ground creatures to do it, like wolverines, badgers, and effective running backs.

I, however, have fairly normal knees. I don't have an excuse. But this morning, when aforementioned tire was flat, I couldn't get those damn bolts off. I was actually turning the wheel with the wrench without the bolts moving.

Fortunately, we had nowhere in particular to go. The AAA guy came, scared Little Dude with his power tool, and proceeded to explain how they put the bolts on so tight that you need a $700 drill to get them off. I'm not sure if he was suggesting I should tip him, you know, for bringing his $700 drill.

I found out later that the last time M-N had a flat, it took her and a maintenance guy from her school standing on the wrench to make it turn. I didn't think to stand on it. If it had been me and a half-man, half-goat, we could have done it.