Grand Theft Blotto

So the company I work for just opened my office and an LA office in May. All the other offices are on the east coast (plus Chicago). We have a shipping company in D.C. that sends out materials to families we work with. But they're slow in general, likely to have been much slower getting things to the west coast. So M-N is the west coast shipping department. She spends a couple of hours a week putting together packages, printing postage labels, and putting them outside for the 'scheduled carrier pickup.'

It's been a great system. She can put packages together at night, put them on the doorstep, and the package guy comes at about 7 a.m. For some reason, packages sent this way go faster than if they brought to the post office. We even have a regular, very concerned package guy, Rene.

But today Rene did what he does when we schedule a pick-up and forget to put the packages outside: ring the doorbell, then call, frantically, worried about us and our packages. I'd put them out last night, but this morning at 7 they were gone. Rene and I were very upset.

Someone stole two priority mail envelopes off our doorstep. The thing is, there is never anything valuable in them. Just letters and little notebooks of study skills for students. Sometimes, there are vocabulary flash cards. Plus, stealing mail is a federal offense. If you're gonna steal mail, why not steal mail that might be valuable?

M-N was walking down the street later when she saw the packages on someone else's doorstep, opened, in a neat pile. So the mail-thief took them from us, walked a few houses down, opened them, realized they were worthless, and left them behind.

But now we can't leave packages outside for Rene b/c even though that idiot isn't likely to take our stuff again, other idiots might.