God help us all

Two phones: the apartment's cordless and my cell phone. Both are relatively small, have buttons, make noises, light up.

One baby: smarter than he probably should be.

Tonight I discovered what M-N already knew. This boy can take a flip phone, open it, turn it on, and dial out. It's not just a fluke. I gave him the closed, turned off cell phone three times and three times he opened it and knew exactly what button to push to turn it on.

Before I realized he had this power, I was talking on the cordless while he dialed Jim K. (Hey Jim, not sure if you got that call. If you did, this here explains the heavy breathing on the other end -- and you thought you had to call out to get that kind of service.) Then he dialed M-N's parents. I know they picked up because I heard her dad on the other end trying to figure out what was going on.

So the boy's smart. We've established this. That's no longer news. What I'm thinking, though, is that I can put this to use. I love that cell phone commercial where the kids are asking the parents for phones, and the kid says, "I think it's time I got a cell phone," and the dad says, "I think it's time you got a job."

I'm going to call up Stanford tomorrow and see if they need any supercomputers hardwired. We're just up the road from Silicon Valley. Maybe Google, Apple, or eBay need some help.