Come fly with me

Great news! Now you can't take liquids on airplanes!

All those warnings about getting dehydrated on long flights? All those cutbacks on in-flight service leaving you thirsty? Don't worry! At least your plane won't blow up.

So some terrorists planned to make liquid bombs they carried onto planes. Now no one can bring bottled water, shampoo, or that citrus stuff that smells like oranges and gets sticker gunk off on any flights. I love that citrus stuff. It wasn't specifically mentioned in the warnings, and probably can't in any way be used to make a bomb, I was just thinking about it...

Anyway, first the terrorist used little blades, so they banned pocket knives. Then Richard Reid used his shoe, so now I have to take my shoes off every time I go through security. Now this.

I'm just waiting for a terrorist to hide something up his bum or have a fake baby. Then we'll all get rectal probes and the boy will get frisked. Eventually, they're going to ban people from flying. That will certainly shorten the lines at security.

What little fun and enjoyment there ever was in flying is pretty much gone now. It still beats driving a rental truck while towing a car across the mountains and planes. But just barely.